I'm not the only one growing old and falling apart in this house.
Once upon a time we had a house full of animals. So many mouths to feed, chaos to attend to, bodies to walk.
We had three active, healthy dogs and four spunky, curious cats.
Little by little, over time, we are slowly losing them.
The first we lost was Dusty Springfield. At this time, it was not because she died. It was because we gave her to my mom.
Around Christmas 2012 we had a cat go missing. We searched and searched and never found her, but in the process, we did find Dusty. When we first found Dusty, she was so tiny. She fit in the palm of my hand. And she kept sneezing; hence her name. As she grew, she still always remained on the small side. A tiny little thing with an extremely anxious soul. She was ALWAYS nervous. Always. She lived with us for years, and no matter how much we loved her, and no matter how much we cared for her, she remained nervous. Mark often thought she would be happiest in a home where she was the sole animal. There came a time when my mom wanted a cat. She had always had animals and pets her entire life, but found herself at a place with none. Whener she visited us, she spent time petting Dusty and falling in love. I never wanted to "get rid of" Dusty, but I did feel both my mom and Dusty would be happier if Dusty went to live with my mom where she would no longer be chased around by the other cats. Mainly Mitzi.. I hated to let her go, but I did feel I was doing what was best for both of them. My mom had Dusty for a few years, and even though she remained nervous, I do think she was happier and more relaxed in a less chaotic environment. Sadly, Dusty lost her life earlier this year. She wasn't all that old, but she was also not all that young, and she had developed a tumor.
The next one we lost was Cecelia Beaux.
Years ago, we decided our lab needed a playmate. Someone with whom she could run and play. A co-worker of Mark's was fostering a dog who was looking for her forever home. We went to check her out. See if she would be a good fit for our family. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure, but Mark was all in. Another visit or two, and she was ours. We never knew her past history, but somewhere in her life, we do think she was abused. Anytime I grabbed a broom, she would shrink and scurry away. We never did anything but love her and reassure her, but no matter how many years she was with us, she never got over the broom. And while she loved me and Mark, her heart and confidence was completely entwined in Georgia, our lab and her companion. Cecelia would not go in, unless and until Georgia went in. Cecelia would not eat unless and until Georgia ate. This was her pattern with everything. If Georgia did it first, it must be OK. Not gonna lie, Cecelia was our hardest to love. You could not look in those eyes and not love her. You could not look in those eyes and not want to help her. But, good golly, she was our hard one. She was our digger. She was scared of thunder and fireworks. We are pretty sure she got a chicken or two. She wasn't bad, but she also wasn't easy. She had THE MOST energy, and we often joked that she would outlive us all. Only she didn't. May 2023 she left us. Quickly and unexpectedly. She left us.
I wrote about her here ... and here.
2023 was not a great year for us as later that year, we also lost our Georgia O'Keeffe.
In typical lab fashion, Georgia was THE BEST DOG EVER. She lived to please, and she lived to love. She came to us as a beautiful puppy back in 2010, and, while we did have her for 13 years, it was not enough. Not enough time with our girl. I wrote her story
here.
Those are the ones we lost over the last two years. So why am I sad today?
Little by little the others are showing their age and starting down that slope that does not end well. Well, except for Billie.
Let's check in with everyone.
Dolce came to me back in 2008.
She has aged a little throughout the years. She was always a little ball of fire. Lots of energy and small enough to get out of a fence or two. Cecelia would dig the holes, and Dolce would fit through. I definitely had to keep an eye on her over the years. Not anymore. She can hear, but not well. She can see, but not well. She can sniff, but not well. It is sad to watch her decline. We can literally leave the gate wide open now, and she won't go through it. Chances are, she won't even see it. Yeah, it's easier, but it's also so so much sadder. She doesn't do stairs anymore, so she relies on me to get her up and down. I don't mind. For a while she was simply sleeping pretty much around the clock, but I started researching elderly dogs, and now I do a few things to keep her up and awake more during the day. She used to always be in my lap if I was seated, but now, at times, she cannot get comfortable in my lap, and leaves me for the comfort of her own little bed. I get it. I want her to be comfy. But again, it saddens me. For now, for today, she is still ticking and going ... but not nearly as she used to.
Then we have Ray Charles.
We got Ray back in 2011 when we were down in The Valley. One of the first things Ray managed to do was get into a fight with a cactus. He came home and was completely covered in needles. Oh, that was fun. He even had one caught in his left eye. After that, he always had a wonky eye. No biggie. I have one too. Ray has always been an outdoor cat. He comes in only in inclement weather. When he was young, there would be stretches of days in the summer when I wouldn't see him at all. But a rain shower or a cold front would change that. On those days, he always wanted in. As he has aged, he still prefers the outdoors, but he doesn't go far. He can usually be found in or around our yard. A couple months ago, I noticed his bad eye was wonkier than usual. The pupil had always been messed up, but now the entire eye was. Off to the vet. We got drops, and they definitely helped. Oh, his eye would never come back, but his comfort did. The vet suggested we could do surgery and get rid of the eye. That way it would never be an issue. We decided to keep an eye on him. See if the eye bothered him nor not. With surgery he would need to remain inside with a cone for ten days. I know that will not be pleasing to him. So we put off the surgery. Unfortunately, last week we noticed the eye pussing a bit and bothering our Ray. He's scheduled for surgery on Monday. And, because of his age, they'll have to do blood work, etc to make sure they can even do the surgery. I'm not too worried about that... besides the eye, he does seem to be doing good. But he is not going to be happy in our house in a cone for ten days. Poor Ray Ray.
Then we got Billie Holiday.
Now Billie is a CAT!! I mean A CAT. Billie is the queen bee, and she has the personality to prove it. If Billie was a person, she would have few friends. But as a cat? She's perfect. Demanding and a diva. We got Billie at the same time we got Dusty; while we were looking for my lost cat. Mark has never really been a cat person. He doesn't hate them or anything, he just never wanted one either. Whatever. Billie absolutely picked up on this and decided Mark was her person. And he is. Thankfully, even though she has obviously aged with the rest of us, Billie seems to be healthy and problem free. Woo hoo.
Then there's Mitzi Gaynor.
I got Mitzi, because an acquaintance was moving and was willing to just dump her cat off at the pound on her way out of town. I could not let that happen. I went and grabbed her before the pound got her. She spent the first eight weeks or so with us living in Mark's closet and destroying a pair of really nice boots. Eventually she came out. She has always been an indoor cat.... until recently. We have had her for years, and she never showed any inkling for caring about the great outdoors until this past Spring. All of a sudden she started darting out the door when it was opened for the other animals. I would grab her and bring her back in. Finally Mark convinced me to let her go. See what she would do. He was sure she wouldn't go far, and he was right. She started staying out for longer and longer periods of time. I would still bring her in at night. She kept staying out so much and so long, I moved her enormous cat tree out onto the deck. She got to where she didn't even want to come in at night. Every night I would go and get her, open the door and place her just inside, leaving the door open to see which way she would choose. And she almost always chose to go back out. Fine. Ok. Poor girl, though, does have allergies. I felt horrible that I didn't notice sooner, but she had been scratching her neck almost raw by the time I finally noticed. When I see her scratching, she goes to the vet and gets a steroid shot, but, because she was spending so much time outside, I didn't notice her scratching. I felt horrible when I finally did see her neck, so... off to the vet. Her neck is fine. Steroid shot, no more scratching, healing nicely.... but we found out the poor girl is basically blind. The vet is convinced she is completely blind in one eye, and probably quite limited sight in the other. My poor girl!! So again, health wise, I think she is OK, but she is definitely going to need a bit more help and I will have to make a much better point of keeping my eyes on her.
I never set out to have all my animals at or around the same time so that they could all age at or around the same time. I honestly never even thought about it. I just kept bringing animals home until Mark said we had enough.
And now little by little, we are all aging and needing a lot more care and a lot more attention. I don't mind; I'd do anything for them .... but I do hate watching it all happen. I do hate us all falling apart.
