Sam was in the hospital again recently. He was in the hospital about a week, and then he went to rehab for another week. I was surprised when he got to go back to his own apartment though, because I thought he'd be in rehab a bit longer. So happy that he was not. He must have done really good in rehab to get out so soon.....
Sam was very depressed for a while. He was under the impression that he was having delayed mourning. He decided that their was just too much change in the past year of his life, that he did not get to mourn his wife properly. Days before he went into the hospital, he had a nightmare. I have no idea what he dreamt, I didn't ask; he didn't tell. But whatever it was, he was quite upset, sad, depressed ... and he stayed that way for days. While he was in the hospital, I would sit with him and we would talk. I mentioned that when he was back home, he might want to check into seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I asked if he had ever gone to one before, and his reply was, "No. Never." I told him that the only time I had been to one was while going through my separation and divorce, but it had helped me immensely and made me feel so much better. He thought that was a good idea. He'd think about it. He'd look into it. He told me that just talking to me helped. I loved that I could be there for him.
Sam has been going through a lot of pictures and photo albums. He'll come across a picture, and he'll ask me to have it framed. Then he'll come across another one, and he'll ask me to have that one framed. He's told me on more than one occasion, "OK, that's it. I'm done with the pictures. I'm not framing anymore." Only to find another picture that needs framing. He came across a professionally taken one of his wife, and he told me there was a story behind that picture. He asked his wife to please go have a picture made of herself. He realized while he was in Korea, that all of the other guys had pictures of their wives or girlfriends, but he did not have a picture of his. He asked her to please remedy that problem. She got all dolled up. Her hair is fixed up, she's wearing her 'cat-eyed' glasses, and a string of pearls around her neck. The picture is not quite sepia, but it's not black and white either. Somewhere in between. Sam's wife sent him the picture, but then he got sick. He was put in the hospital, and he was sent home. He didn't pack up his bags or pack his things. The Army had that done for him. He said he didn't even think about that picture for years, and by the time he did think about it, he had no idea what had ever happened to it. He said he and his wife talked about it off and on throughout the years, but neither one of them ever knew what happened to the picture. He found it about a month ago. Memories came flooding back. He asked me to have it framed, and I found a beautiful ornate gold-leaf frame. At first Sam did not like the frame ... until I put the picture in. His wife looked absolutely beautiful in that particular frame. We have it placed on a shelf just across from Sam's chair. As he sits in his chair, he can see his wife looking out at him.
Another picture he wanted framed was his wedding picture. We put it into a nice simple frame that he already had at the house. He and his wife are so young. I believe she was eighteen. He was twenty-one. I keep telling him, "Wow, Sam, look how young y'all were." And we both smile. He told me yesterday that framing those two pictures have helped him so much. He thinks it was just the medicine he needed. He has been much happier since looking at those pictures each day.
Yesterday, I spent part of my Thanksgiving with Sam. His daughter was going from place to place to place with family and friends for the day. She did invite Sam, but he did NOT want to do that. He did not want any part of that. He asked, "Why do I want to go from house to house sitting around with people I don't even know?" He told me that for years his wife did do the big traditional family Thanksgivings, but not the last few years of her life. Once she got sick, she couldn't. He said Thanksgiving was not that important to him anymore. So he and I spent the morning together. He's not a fan of professional football (he prefers college), but he was planning on watching the Saints and Cowboys when I left him. His daughter called me later in the day and invited me over to her house for dinner, which I thought was so so sweet of her, but I declined. Instead I was on my way to spend the night watching five dogs ..........
By the way: tomorrow is Sam's birthday. He'll be 83.
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